Saturday, December 17, 2016

I'm Not the Girl I was Last Year

1 year. 12 months. 52 weeks. 365 days. Countless changes.
Each new year brings opportunity for change. You learn, you have new experiences and grow from all of them. Some changes are for the better and others become lessons for next time. Change is often slow, sometimes so much so you don’t notice the effect it’s having on you. This year though, I have changed more than ever before.
This year tested my limits unlike any year prior. The fog of confusion that had clouded my mind during the previous years had dissolved leaving me to clean up its mess. I lost best friends this year. I came to a place of understanding that some of those “that’ll never happen to me” situations might just happen.
This year I soared to the sky after my spiral to the ground. This year I stayed out of hospitals and treatment homes. When I left home in August it was to move into a college dorm room. This year I retaught myself how to learn and finished out my first semester strong. This year I became an advocate for myself and my needs. This year I became stronger.
It wasn’t easy. I questioned every move I made, but I’ve had too many experiences and learned too many valuable lessons to waste time wishing for what could have been.
I’m not the person I was last year, and that’s okay.
Who I am now is a girl who isn’t afraid to stand up for herself. Who I am now is a girl who knows failure doesn’t come from making mistakes, only in failing to learn from them. I’ve tried new things. I have ripped off band aid after band aid as I work towards taking care of myself. I have brought myself to a place so much healthier than I ever hoped to be a year ago.
I have a few more mountains to climb. I feel no shame in admitting that. I know the work that needs to be done and I can do it. I will do it.

 I am young. I’m still figuring life out and I’m sure it will test me at every turn of a corner, but that’s okay. I’m on a journey that is all my own. Who will I be next year? Only the future knows. 

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